Are you on the path to raising successful kids?

Sometimes we need to ask ourselves some difficult questions.  This is a question that I ask my parents every time we start a new class.  What is your parenting plan?  John Wooden has a very famous quote, “Failure to plan is to plan to fail.”  Too many times most parents do not have a plan, they are just taking it one day at a time.

Did you know that there are 4 parenting styles?  Every parent can relate to one of these.  The 4 styles are:

The Permissive Parent:  This is the parent that allows the child to do whatever the child wishes.  There are few boundaries, and the child ends up making a lot of grown-up decisions.

The Absent Parent:  This is the parent that for whatever reason (work, divorce, neglect) is hardly ever there.  Also, in this scenario the child is left to make decisions on their own.

The Autocratic Parent:  This is the drill-instructor parent.  Things will be done my way, and very little love or encouragement is shown to the child.

These three parenting styles are the breeding grounds for teen-age rebelliousness.  The statistics show that children raised in these environments tend to distance themselves from the parents.  Also, from what I have seen through over 20 years in Christianity is that a lot of Pastors and Ministers fall into the Authoritative or Permissive categories and their children rebel. 

The last category is the Authoritarian Parent:  This parent is the one who has found the proper balance of love, discipline, and direction.  This is the parenting style that I strive to be like, and it is the style that we teach parents who come to the Parent Project training to be like.  Examples of this parent style would be Andy Griffith, Ward Cleaver, Bill Cosby, or Charles Ingles.  These examples are from well-known TV characters that many of you can relate to.  The Authoritarian Parent is the parent whose children tend to follow in their footsteps (faith, morals, and values).

So, I ask you, What is your plan?  Are you planning for failure?  Remember, your kids need your love, discipline, and direction.

What is a Blue Collar Parent?

Why do I want to be a Blue Collar Parent?  Because when one thinks of a blue collar worker, the idea of a hard working person comes to mind.  Hard work is what parenting is.  Parenting is hard work.  Too many times I hear parents in my classes tell me that certain aspects of parenting is tough.  I agree with them.  It is tough, and it will take a tough, hard-working parent to grow a child in the nurture and admonition of the Lord.

Today I did an interview on a local radio station to promote the class that is on-going in Gainesville, FL.  One of the topics that came up was the situation with the uncontrollable 3 year old, whose parents were asked to exit an airplane, because the child would not sit in her seat and buckle up.  This was not an uncommon scene to most people.  I see people with children like this at most public places (church, grocery stores, restaurants etc.)  I was asked how does a parent deal with a child like this?  Well, the first answer is that there is not a short and sweet formula to get children to behave.  It can be, and is a long process.  But, obviously this child did not respect adults and was not too worried about the consequences of her behavior.

In our program (the Parent Project) we teach parents techniques that change behavior problems.  This child should not be very difficult at this age.  What I want parents to think about is this, uncontrollable 3 year olds become uncontrollable 13 year olds, who become uncontrollable 23 year olds.  I think you get the picture.  I like to quote the great Barney Fife here, “You’ve got to Nip it in the bud” here. 

So, why don’t parents Nip it?  Because, parenting is hard work, and too many parents don’t like the idea of being a Blue Collar Parent.  If you are reading this I hope that you will be encouraged to work hard for the sake of your children.

Until next time.